Cycle, Routine, Instinct
by freaklikepenny
Summary: Because Beck Oliver would hurt himself a million times over if it meant sparing someone else's feelings. - Sort of Bade, sort of Bori. Oneshot.


**I'm back on Fanfiction, and it's strange, but I've missed writing things like this. This is only a oneshot so I will not be continuing, but please review and tell me what you think. It's very different to anything I've ever written before so I'm unsure but... yeah. Please review, thank you!**

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He's not sure why he appreciates this particular evening so much. Of course, he'd always thought that darkness was beautiful, but only because he'd felt _inclined _to. His heart is occupied by none other than Jadelyn – Jade – West, the girl who manages to get a thrill out of anything considered dangerous, or peculiar, or generally nauseating. She's the master of manipulation, the princess of pain, the owner of he himself. And oh does she guard him; because it's _instinct _to mark Beck Oliver as her territory. She loves him in the odd way – the strange one that only the two of them could ever understand. She plays him like a puppet because that's the way it's always been; she's possessive, he gets that, it's _routine_.

The soft and steady tune of a romantic song can be heard in the parking lot. Jade drags her boyfriend, her life, her everything, up to dance. You'd make a safe assumption that the girl who happened to adore anything seriously disturbing wouldn't condone all the passionate and tender connotations that arrive with _slow dancing_, but she often likes to surprise people – especially Beck, who is supposed to know the ins and outs of her entire ghostly figure. And he does… most of the time.

Her arms clasp around his neck, too tight but he doesn't care. Either that, or he's just too familiar with it to notice. There aren't any visible spaces between the two from the waist upwards; their heads resting on one another's shoulders and Jade's hips clamped tightly against him with the help of his firm, yet somehow gentle grasp. Nonetheless, his mind is elsewhere as they move in time with the music. Jade's comfortable in her boyfriend's arms because she knows that it's where she should be, and she labels it impossible to imagine herself anywhere else… nor with anybody else, for that matter. Beck knows she thinks like this, so why does he have to question if they're on the same page or not? And oh does he _want _to feel the same; because he's sure he did at _some _point, but was it simply Jade's obscure beauty alone that he tripped over years ago? It was _instinct_ for him to pull her closer just now. The gaps may have been limited, but they weren't combined, they weren't _one_, and they weren't as together as they'd like to hope.

The glances he shoots over his girlfriend's shoulder as they sway are far too frequent to be honorable intentions. Beck just can't seem to understand why his amber eyes fall directly on _her _every single time they wander about a room – perhaps he's drawn to her perfect face, and personality, and _heart – _he's unsure again, but they always seem to seek her out. In his eyes, she shines so brightly that it's almost blinding. Almost. He's glad she doesn't succeed in stealing his vision altogether, because not being allowed to long for her anymore would destroy him. She's got her caramel-tinted arms wrapped around the neck of a boy that she's _only just met_ and his hands are travelling softly around the whole of her flawless frame, and all Beck wants to do is rush over to them both and break them apart because, _God dammit_, he cannot seem to get a hold of himself whenever Tori Vega is around. He wishes she'd blinded him now, so he wouldn't have to see them together.

He likes to think he's just looking out for her; that she simply deserves the best and that no guy could ever come _close _to as perfect as she's entitled to. But the way he thinks about how beautiful she is on the inside – as well as on the outside – is anything but innocent. No, _innocent _would be the way he sees Cat Valentine. He protects her like she's his little sister and looks out for her because he knows that she needs him. He loves her like family because that's what she's always meant to him. It's _routine_.

It's different with Tori, because Beck knows that she's absolutely fine without him. She doesn't long for him the way he does for her, or so he thought. Tonight, she's catching his eye with the exact same glint that he swears he's only dreamt of. Both know they shouldn't be, but there's just something so _dangerous _about messing with Jade West that neither can shake the thrill of. He tries to shut his eyes. They drift back to her every time they reopen, each stare with a little more _passion. _Her coffee-colored hair that snakes all the way down her back and that slinky black dress that hugs all the right places of her curvaceous silhouette are nothing short of incredible. It flows down so flatteringly that Beck literally cannot breathe as her hips rock delicately. He'd love to be in the position of the guy that had attached himself onto her – to feel the smoothness of the material as it slips through his fingers again and again.

The temptation becomes more and more unbearable as the song drags on. Beck's counting down the seconds to when he can finally sit down, because he's so enamored by Tori Vega that his body is uncomfortable in the arms of the girl he loves, or is _supposed_ to love, he's not sure. Jade senses his uncertainty because, let's face it, she's known him long enough to read him like a book. She pushes him back swiftly but ever so slightly, knowing that the sudden movement would be enough to catch him out. Beck bites his lip, nervous as the unnaturally pleasant attitude of his girlfriend suddenly springs back to its normal, sour bitterness.

Her eyes follow the trail that Beck foolishly left, and of course they led straight to a certain beautiful brunette. Tori notices Jade discover their suspicious gazes, and automatically kisses the boy she's dancing with. She feels oh so guilty for leaving Beck to look as though he was one-sidedly captivated by her, however the feeling of messing with Jade West was only exciting when she hadn't a clue what was going on. Once she's aware, she's dangerous, toxic, poisonous. Beck would be fine.

"You were looking at _her_," Jade explodes, the same argument repeating itself for the millionth time. Beck rifles his mind for another excuse – and he knows it's so hard because he's had to use them so often – but there were a couple brewing in the back of his mind. He just could not seem to word them right. He knew he'd left it too long now; his face looked far too conscience-stricken for his girlfriend to ignore.

"Not here, Jade, not in public," Beck pleads with her, but Jade's not having any of it. Her face clouds with thunder, and Tori can hear the shouting perfectly. Everybody can, because the music has been cut and a crowd has gathered, and of course, Tori wasn't enjoying the kiss in any way. She pulls away and pushes through the huddle until she finds the centre, knowing it's about time she stepped in to save Beck's relationship. She wanted him, badly, but he'd never be hers.

"Oh, and here she is!" Jade spits, clocking Tori's rather heroic entrance. Well, it's only Beck that sees her as a heroine – the one he subconsciously dreams of too many times a week. "You really have got your claws into _my _boyfriend, haven't you, Vega?"

Of course, Jade's not entirely sure that she can blame Tori for what happened tonight, considering she was in the middle of what looked like a heated make-out session with a guy she'd known for five minutes previously. Jade was sure, however, that Tori was not the kind of girl that kissed boys she barely knew.

"This isn't Beck's fault," Tori says bravely, sighing heavily. "It's mine."

Beck panics as Jade's menacing eyes focus more carefully on her enemy. Tori stares her out, quaking on the inside. Being an actress certainly pays off. Most of the time.

"It was nobody's _fault_," Beck puts a hand on Tori's shoulder, but removes it quickly as Jade's eyebrows shoot up to her hairline. She's annoyed that he'd made contact with her, especially at a time like this, but at least she didn't feel the connection they had felt. She'd fizzled at his touch, and he'd felt the electric shock that appears to be oozing out of her. "I was just wondering if I knew the guy Tori was with. I think he's in my Math class."

"You think I was born yesterday?" Jade snarls, unhappy _yet again _with Beck's poor excuse. She'd forgive him eventually, but for now she'd make him suffer. "We're done."

He'd come crawling back. Okay, so he hadn't done when Jade'd dumped him over Alyssa Vaughn, but it was inevitable that he'd be begging for her again soon. The crowd disperses as Jade violently shoves her way though, attacking anybody who dares get in her way. She has to rush before she breaks down in front of everybody. She knows Beck fell for Tori months ago, but she's clinging on so hard because he's _hers _at the end of the day, and she wants him to make her feel special. But he can't, and he doesn't feel as though he should because it's no longer fair to her.

"I should go after her," Beck tells Tori as the music starts up again. He has to whisper it in her ear so she can hear him, and it sends sparks up and down her spine. Beck notices and enjoys it, probably a little more than he should.

"Probably," Tori responds. It's all _routine _though, and Beck knows he should carry it out thoroughly like he usually does, but something's keeping his eyes locked with the girl currently stood straight in front of him. And she's not doing anything – she's just stood there with one eyebrow raised, but that doesn't make her any less addicting, or enticing, or enchanting. Beck struggles to repel her absent-minded charm as she breathes, "Go on then."

Neither has made any attempt to step backwards. His lips are still hovering by her ear, his hot breath leaving heavy goose-bumps on her exposed shoulders. Again, Beck likes the affect he's having on her a _lot _more that he should, but neither can control their attraction.

"I'm going," Beck pulls back. His feet are stuck to the ground. Both can feel the magnet forcing them together, and both want it to happen, but they know it can't. Not here, not yet – possibly not ever, unfortunately.

"It looks like it," Tori teases, finally pulling herself together for all of three seconds in order to move away from him. Her hips swing as she moves perfectly before spinning around and giggling at an open-mouthed Beck. He shuts it quickly, turning away and running off to find his car. He knows where he's going to wind back up. In the arms of the girl that makes him unhappy, because that's the _cycle. _He's too terrified to put a stop to it, and he does care about her. He'll always have Jade, even if he doesn't want her. He'll find it in him to make it work because he feels he owes it to her, though he really doesn't.

She treats him terribly, has since the beginning, and he'd liked it at first. It'd kept him on his toes… but now he was clinging to the edge of his seat, all thanks to a girl who was the exact opposite of his girlfriend. Tori would treat him right, and he knew it, and boy did he want her. He could _love _Tori; there were no barriers or walls or fire-breathing dragons. She was open, but also that miniscule hidden part of her made it possible for Beck to get to know her. And boy, did he want to. They could be happy, both of them, and it would never just be one-sided. He could protect her like her boyfriend, and boy did he want that.

"I knew you'd be back," Jade grins smugly as she opens the door to Beck. He doesn't smile back, or hug or kiss her. He waits, the unbearable silence destroying the two of them.

He's standing there limply and lifeless, a grey statue, gargoyle, frozen. She eyes his peculiar stance but does not pursue it, because she knows all too well that the things going on inside of his suffocated head are all things that she does not want to hear. Because she knows they'd hurt her, and Jade West doesn't handle that kind of emotion correctly.

She steps aside and he wanders out of the darkness on her porch into the pool of dim light carefully flooding the hall – no longer a shadow, or silhouette, or stranger – it's Beck; the same Beck she's known all of her life. Only now she can see all of the _scars _that she's awarded him for being nothing but a remarkable companion. And it hurts more to know that he's not saying what's on his mind because he doesn't _want _to upset her. She gladly broke her boyfriend down without a second thought. And she cares about him with all of her obscure heart, but she could never bring herself to stop.

Jade doesn't argue when Beck strokes her colorless, frost-bitten cheeks and winces as he does so because of the familiar bitterness that her whole figure helplessly emits. It's irrelevant how well-adapted they are to one another because the spark, the flames, the fireworks… it all disappeared in a flash not long ago. But still that doesn't matter. Beck's willingly putting himself through a little more pain – mainly because he knows it won't be long before he becomes so numb that he won't even have to feel it anymore – and Jade puts herself though similar discomfort because she has to watch herself destroy him by accident.

He'll never let go of Tori Vega, because he knows he's helplessly in love with her, yet he can't bring himself to tell her. Perhaps he's a coward; he won't tell Jade that their relationship is passed mending. Probably because he knows they'll always crash into each other, again, together(ish), Beck&Jade. Because it's the _cycle_, it's their _routine_ – it's all _instinct._


End file.
